Diet...

Ugh I am gonna totally bitch right now. I have learned by elimination that I can not handle wheat or dairy. I have not gone to the doctor but all of the symptoms I would have gone to the doctor for are gone when I do not eat them. I will eventually get to the doctor, but having 5 kids that are home makes it less than easy.
So I am at a point that I also have extremely bad teeth, no back molars at this point. I just had them pulled yesterday and now I am on a soft diet for 3 weeks. So a soft diet with no wheat or dairy...WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went shopping today and for lunch I had some chocolate"milk" and some "chocolate" waffers...I am so fucking hungry and I am not nice when I am hungry. I have been on a somewhat soft diet for a while now, because of the condition of the teeth that were pulled. There were good and bad days with the pain and infections. Now since I have gapping holes in my mouth I am really on a soft diet. My husband and I have a friend watching the kids tonight so we can go to a family wake, husband wants to take advantage and go out to dinner. I would love to but where the hell am I going to find a restaurant that will make us both happy? He wants steak and potatoes, and I need some soup. I will search online but I am going away from why I am bitching...
I love to cook and eat! I lived for food, my husband eats to live. This is so not fair. I have learned in the last few years with my dental condition worsening that food is not meant to be made love to, you can love it though. He is tall and thin and will leave ice cream, or any dessert for that matter, in a bowl when he is full. Who the fuck does that? Not this one!!! I have the opposite problem, I eat till everything is gone, off every ones plates. No wonder I got up to 297lbs...shhh don't tell anyone, I have not publicly said that before. It actually feels good to now. I am down to 197 right now, I am very proud of myself, I have not starved myself at all. I work out 5 days a week, sometimes twice a day. I am thinking it may be too much now. Ugh again I have gone off track...
I love food, I really do. I love to create great yummy meals for my family. I love using fresh ingredients and lots of bright colored fruits and veggies. I love to make desserts and then eat them...my nickname from my husband is coffee cake killer...lovely huh? I deserve it, he has seen me put away numerous coffee cakes, cakes, cookies, brownies, and all sorts of delish things. I am about 30 lbs away from my goal and I have learned to make just about everything healthy, my problem is portion control. I have had to learn this by default. My teeth can only take so much at a time.
I am deeply saddened that I have fallen out of love with food, I almost hate it now. I dread making dinner, mostly because I can not eat most of what I make. I make a separate meal for myself. I do not expect my family to eat dairy and wheat free, it sucks donkey balls! So now I am working on falling in love with my kind of meals. One it's terribly expensive and had to shop for. I have to go to a totally separate store that is not close to any of the other stores I shop at. Most of the stuff that is available is fucking gross. I love tasting great food, I often don't like to eat out because I am a much better cook than what most restaurants can make...yes I am very confident.
After shopping today I ended up getting myself a box of cereal, that I cant eat for 3 more weeks, and some "milk" I will survive on protein shakes and hopefully some soy yogurt if I can get to the "other" store soon. Ok I think I am done bitching, I am getting a head ache because I am so hungry...have I mentioned I hate being hungry...